I should be having the time of my life planning this wedding that I've wanted for so long.
Not so much.
Have you ever had those days (weeks, months...) where nothing is really wrong, but everything isn't right?
That's how I feel.
I have so many things spinning around in my head that I can't keep anything straight. And when I sit down to figure out what I need to do, I just become overwhelmed and want to go to bed.
I have 6 months to:
*plan a wedding
*figure out Halloween costumes for 3 children
*Plan and execute Little Miss Sunshine's party {Already have that one figured out}
*Thanksgiving
*Pirate Noah's party {I suppose I have some stuff planned}
*Christmas
*New Years
*Monkey's party {He was going to get something different, but when all else fails, stick with monkey's and he'll be happy}
Not to mention, 19 hours of heavy coursework this semester, final exams sometime between Noah's birthday and Christmas, and starting a new semester after the first of the year.
Any wonder why I just want to pull the covers over my head?
I'm really thankful that I have people in my life who want to help, and will probably be more than willing if I would tell them what to do. But, the 2 people that I want most, won't and can't help.
When I was talking to someone about the wedding recently, I started tearing up when I was describing what I envisioned.
1940's, glitz, glam, big band
I'm getting married on my grandparent's anniversary and want a wedding that would have been common when they were married in the late 40's.
But no matter how many jazz bands I listen to, or birdcage veils that I try on, even though I will have my grandma's ring, I won't have my grandparents. And I always thought I'd at least have my grandpa to walk me down the aisle.
Which brings me to the second person. My mom didn't have my grandma to help her plan her wedding, so I really don't know why she is resisting this wedding so much. But it's tearing me apart. I got some what of a reaction in my dress, but not the over the top "oh my gosh, this is the dress" that you see on TV. I suppose I should know by now that my mom is not the typical mom.
I have to stop letting others dictate my happiness. Just like I can't let one person have that much control over how I feel.
But, it's so much easier to say than do.
But no matter how many jazz bands I listen to, or birdcage veils that I try on, even though I will have my grandma's ring, I won't have my grandparents. And I always thought I'd at least have my grandpa to walk me down the aisle.
Which brings me to the second person. My mom didn't have my grandma to help her plan her wedding, so I really don't know why she is resisting this wedding so much. But it's tearing me apart. I got some what of a reaction in my dress, but not the over the top "oh my gosh, this is the dress" that you see on TV. I suppose I should know by now that my mom is not the typical mom.
I have to stop letting others dictate my happiness. Just like I can't let one person have that much control over how I feel.
But, it's so much easier to say than do.
