Top 5 Reason My Children Will Land me in a Mental Institution

1) Isaiah, I'm really glad you have learned to use the potty. But please, when you want to dump your little bucket "all by yourself" don't wave it up and down. It flings your pee everywhere. I when I say everywhere, I mean everywhere...even my foot.

2) Noah, stop debating me. I'm the boss, you are not.

3) Elizabeth, no more screeching-EVER!

4) To the boys-Will it kill you to be nice for 5 minutes? Stop taking toys, yelling at each other, or in general being little meanies.

5) If your sibling is playing with a toy and I ask you to clean up- Leave the one toy that s/he is happily playing with ALONE!

I'm sorry, my feminist streak is showing...

I want to start by saying that I am not a super extreme feminist. I do believe that feminism is a good thing, but I've never gone over the edge. I stay at home with my kids and rely on support from a man...pretty much the opposite.

However, every once in awhile, my feminist streak shines and that could cause some arguments.

Having a wedding is probably one of the most anti-feminist things a woman can do. She's escorted down the aisle by her father who 'gives' her away. Then she promises to love, honor, and in some vows OBEY her new husband.

Really?

And the invitations. Mr. and Mrs. Blah Blah invite you to the wedding of their daughter. So my mother is reduced to a Mrs. Someone else. Her own name is silenced.

I'm not ok with this.

Women have been silenced for centuries. It is a practice that is still continued today. A woman who cries is a hormonal, emotional, basketcase. If she yells or even asserts herself in any way, she is irrational or unstable. If a man is assertive, he's a ball-buster, a real man.

I understand that this is how things used to be, but I don't understand why it has to remain like this. I don't want my mother, or my future mother-in-law's name silenced next to her husband's name.

I will wear a white dress and walk down the aisle with my dad. I can handle that. I'm not going to get my panties in a twist over changing my last name, because I WANT to change my last name. But I am still Emily. And I deserve to have my own first name.

Just how I think our mothers should have their own first name recognized on the wedding invitations.

Because I am a woman, I must make unusual efforts to succeed.
If I fail, no one will say, "She doesn't have what it takes."
They will say, "Women don't have what it takes." ~Clare Boothe Luce


I myself have never been able to find out precisely what feminism is: I only know that people call me a feminist whenever I express sentiments that differentiate me from a door mat or a prostitute. ~Rebecca West, "Mr Chesterton in Hysterics: A Study in Prejudice," The Clarion, 14 Nov 1913, reprinted in The Young Rebecca, 1982

Until I had Kids...

I never had to say "Please don't pick your sister's nose" or any other wild phrase.

I never had to walk into the bathroom to an empty bottle of toothpaste, laugh, and then horrified, look around to see where it went.

I never had to scold, yell, want to scream or pull my hair out because of how many times a 3 year old can go to the bathroom in the 45 minutes after bedtime.

I never had to wade through a room of toys, trash, books, and God knows what else just to find a pair of socks.

BUT I also never knew....

How much a mother's love meant. Or how it was even possible to love one little tiny person so incredibly much.

I never understood why my mom plastered a ton of makeup on my face for prom. I thought I looked like a cheap hooker. Now looking at pictures I realize I look normal. There is also a difference from the "fine, do what ever" to the next years, "No, leave me alone" pictures. The second year I looked like a large blob of white pasty skin with no eyelashes or lips.

I never would have traded my life for anything. I would in an instant for those babies.

I never knew the depth of the mother-daughter bond until I had a little girl of my own. Now, whenever she brings me toenail polish or sits on my lap to let me brush her hair it feels as though my heart will explode from all of the love I have for her.

And most of all, I wish that adults were more like children. Because no matter what happens during the day, no matter how many times I get frustrated and wish they would go to bed, or just be nice for 5 minutes. No matter how much I scold or punish, it as though their minds reset and forget about all of that the next morning. Because every morning they wake up and give me a hugs, kisses and say, "I love you mama." I think it would be nice if a lot of grown-ups were that way, maybe the world would be a better place.

What Can You Possibly Say...

My best friend since college sent me a text yesterday and said that her husband of over six years was done, finished. And he left her.

Out of everyone I know, this is one marriage that I truly believed it would be forever. And now, my best friend is broken and I can't do anything to help her. If I lived there, I would have packed up the kids and drove. Even if it was 4 hours. But it's a 4 day trip now. I have never missed home so bad in my life.

After having children, there are so many changes you go through. You go from you to a different version of you. The old you is still in there, but there are other things that become more important. It is so hard to balance a child, job, and relationship. Women wear so many hats: mom, wife, sister, daughter, worker, friend, and the list just keeps going. I once read in one of my Social Theory classes that the most common form of depression is when women experience role strain: i.e. wearing too many hats.

Am I the same person that I was 5 years ago? No, probably not. 5 years ago I was a single mom who was just beginning to put myself back out there. I only had one child, one job, and no boyfriend/husband. I was able to go out and have a few drinks when my son was at grandma's house.

Then I met Jeff and got pregnant with Isaiah. My friends started changing because I wasn't going out when I had a free night. I was home with my growing little family. Shortly after Isaiah, I had Elizabeth. So more and more of the old me fell away and was replaced by the new, more adult, me. Now, if we have a babysitter for the kids we usually end up going grocery shopping by ourselves. How fun does that sound? Go from fun to mundane.

I guess what scares me is that this will happen to me. What if I wake up one morning and Jeff says I'm not the same person he fell in love with. Have I already changed so much that I am unrecognizable? Sometimes I feel like I have. And some days I feel like it is a good thing. But sometimes I just feel like a portion of who I used to be. All of the stress and sleepless nights have just added up to make me a tired, boring, mean person who is too busy just getting through the day to really stop and see what is going on around me.

And in the midst of trying to figure this out, how can I possibly be a support for my friend? What do I say to possibly make things better, because nothing I say can change or fix anything. What do you say to your best friend whose world is falling apart? Because I've been there. My world crumbled at my feet and it is not pretty.

But you eventually pick yourself up and move on. Not because you want to, but because you have to.

So in the meantime, I pray for peace for her. Because I don't know what else to pray for.

Funny Kids Conversations

This past weekend Noah had his "BFF" stay the night. The BFF label is Noah's words, not mine. After you hit three kids adding any additional ones really do not make much of a difference. It's always a loud and crazy zoo house and adding one more boy is almost second nature. In the midst of loading 4 kids up in our mini bus, a man leaned out of his window and asked if they were all mine.

What does it matter?

Man: (haha) I was gonna tell you to stop drinking the water

Oh you are so hilarious.

I took all the kids to get frozen yogurt and we ate outside. Noah and his friend found a realtor ad and this conversation took place.

(I'll refer to Noah's friend as Lego man)

Noah: Wow, she's hot.
Lego Man: No, she's hot.
Noah: Dude, she's OLD!
Lego Man: Yeah, you should stay away from older girls. Alls they do is beat up on you and they don't kiss you either.

Wise Lego Man......

Cream Cheese Frosting

I have decided that Cream Cheese Frosting is crack in a bowl. It is so incredibly good. Rich, creamy, velvety goodness. It is the only weakness besides ganache that I have left. I've gotten very good about not sampling the goodies I make. I just looked it up on Weight Watchers and it is only 4 points per serving.

That's not so bad....

But it is if you eat the entire bowl.

So.....

So I really don't have much to say other than woo hoo I'm out of school for the summer. I need some serious help and ideas though.

This summer, I want to open an etsy shop. How can I accomplish this? I know what I want to make, the problem I am having is time. I usually end up crafting into the wee hours of dawn, then I'm cranky and irritable when the kids wake up four hours later. I don't want to do anything else for the rest of the day. I need a schedule! I need to wake up at a decent hour, have a chore time and a crafting time that leaves room for family time and going to bed at a decent hour.

What works for you? Ideas, suggestions?